One of the main reasons that I moved to Berlin was to meet new people. You see, I’m Scandinavian and interacting with other human beings is not really our strong side.
I don’t want to be the bull in the china shop now that I’m in Germany, but we do have a lot of rules back in Sweden. Both written in the law and a lot of silent ones, that reflects itself in our behavior. For example: you can’t grab a drink in a bar by yourself in Sweden. It’s just too weird. One time a guy actually asked me if I could take care of myself or if I live in an institution, because I was a loner in a bar in Gothenburg. True story. As you can read between the lines I had no other choice than to leave that freezing rat hole.
Here in Berlin people don’t ask you if you are a mental patient if you’re alone in a bar. Actually, mental patients in bars might be more common than not around here. And speaking of mental illness in our contemporary time…
Even though it’s easy to meet other mentally retarded peers and/or geniuses just by walking into bars/cafés/shops/anywhere, I do have another tip for you all. Or read the following text first, and then you can decide if this is a tip or more like a warning.
I’m talking about Tinder. The superficial dating app that everyone claims to be just “testing out” but in reality 80% of the users are generally hoping to get laid. A lot. But since I’m new in the city I had an idea of letting locals (hot, male locals) show me their favorite bars so I can take people that I actually care about there later. Don’t mind getting laid as a bonus, though. It seemed to be a great idea! The app makes the step between letting someone know that they look fab (or “interesting”, if you can tell from a selfie) and grabbing beers at new places really quick and very effective. It’s fun. Most of the time.
Yesterday I agreed to go on a date with an Englishman. It was a three-hour-long night during which he mostly complained about the place, the weather, the city, the area, the service and of course: me. Some guys still seem to take this The Game-thing quite seriously, still hoping to getting laid by being disparaging, sardonic and negative.
Since I quickly figured that he was a dorky, depressed prick and also on a highway towards baldness, I thought I may just as well stay for a while, get drunk and let him keep making an exhibition of himself. It wasn’t the best date of my life, and not his either, as he kept telling me. A few hours in he accused me of being a psychopath and a notorious liar, and this from a guy going on a date wearing sweatpants..
Suddenly his eyes started to wonder. First I thought it was the result of the Jägermeister, but then he did the smooth move of trying to talk to a really drunk girl sitting on my other side in the bar, behind my back. Like physically LEANING behind my back and shamelessly starting to hit on her. I guess he wanted to score something that evening, as he had made the effort of getting all dressed up and all.. When I came back from the toilet and caught the two of them exchanging phone numbers, I said goodbye and left him with the bill.
On my way home he called me up, wanted to apologize for “making a shitty move”. His excuse was that I seemed to have such a bad night anyway. Spot on, you English asshole, nothing spices up a crappy date as much as having your date pick up another woman while you’re still present. Physically in the middle, in fact. Thank you for the concern..
I ended the night having wine with my neighbor. He has a way of staying positive all the time, always smiling. Sort of the contrast that I needed. That’s another way of meeting new people, by the way: on your staircase! But until that happens to you too, give Tinder a try. You’ll always end up with a story and learn something new about a Berlin citizen, I promise.
By Emma Karlsson