I still don’t get moustaches.

Moustaches. Do you get them? I don’t. I just don’t. I never got them. Now a beard, I mean a reasonable one, I can dig. I’ve even got one on my face, and it’s been living there quietly for some number of years now. We get along. There’s something about moustaches that, at least to my nice western sensibility, seems like a really bad stab at proving some kind of machismo, some kind of manliness. Now maybe it’s just me, but when a guy makes a point of letting just the hair on the top of his lip grow and cutting off all the rest of it, that somehow doesn’t necessarily scream “Real Man” at me. It just looks like a guy who let the hair on the top of his lip grow and not the rest of it. Where does the manliness come in? You? Do you get it? 

So it seems doubly strange to me and, let’s face it, somehow amusing too, that apparently the big trend in Istanbul is now beauty tourism – beauty tourism for men – and with around a quarter of those flying in for follicular first aid demanding not new hair on the top of their head – a whole subject in and of itself – but, yes, a little help in the facial department. It’s true. About 50 men fly each day into Istanbul and spend on average a couple of thousand euros getting a specialist to give them a moustache. Mostly Arab men. Because, they say, it’s good for business. In the Arab world, apparently, you don’t got a moustache, you don’t land the deal. Why? Not manly enough, you see. Untrustworthy.

And hey, doesn’t it look good?

Yeah. Right.Oh yes. And the very newest thing is now in fact to go for a little stubble. Artificially implanted stubble. Either because there’s an 80s-era George Michael revival going on in the Middle East or else because of the new look sported in the new Turkish soap operas. Take your pick. Artificially implanted stubble. Now there’s a thing. Now there’s a man. A real man. A man who last Christmas may have given you his heart. 

But then took it back.

Moustaches though. Jesus.

Who, incidentally, had a decent little beard going if the statues are generally accurate.

Article by Noel Maurice.



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